Archive for February, 2003

never in your life rent the movie feardotcom.


just dont.

the only thing that could get me to watch some tube.


I just finished watched “the human canvas” on the national geographic channel, which featured interviews with Shannon Larratt, Eric Sprague, Fakir Musafar and Blair, to name a few, and featured scarification, branding, suspension, tattooing and body piercing as well as neck-lengthening and other various body modifications (they didn’t get to implants, unfortunately). I was pretty sceptic about watching the show in the first place, I was assuming that it was going to introduce body modification to the viewers as a type of spectacle, but I was pleasantly surprised. I was particularly interested in their short feature on maori facial tattooing and burmese neck lengthening. It was an hour long special (well, not actually an hour, Israeli television tends to extend commercial breaks to about 5min per break, which gave me enough time to make tea and light up a smoke on the porch). I found the show to be very inspiring. Maybe not as comprehensive on the subject as I’d liked it to be, but still well informative and interesting.

Therapy?


I went to the doctor, again, and he metioned something about Ritalin. Of course, he did not tell me, but rather my mother, that he thinks I might just have ADD. So along with the added psycho-test-thing, I have to have an ultrasound done, an EEG, two blood tests and cosmetic surgery for my back. I’m going through some rough times now, my grandmother passed away, I quit my job, and a few other things I’m not quite sure my family would approve of me sharing online. As an added bonus, valentine’s day is coming up. I despise valentine’s day. As far as I see it, it’s just another one of society’s ways of assuring we reproduce. Valentine’s day makes you unhappy if you’re lonely, and if you’re not, it just puts pressure on you by emphasising what society expects of you. Maybe I’m just being bitter. I’m not sure. I went out tonight for the first time in a very long while. It was awful. All the faces I avoid, all the people I’d rather not see, all the overpriced beer, everyone’s fake smiles and the overdone social-acceptance-thing. Why did I go out? I can’t say I wasn’t expecting all of the above, I just managed to convince myself that I needed to “get out”. I told myself that I should stop being lil’ ms. nomad and mingle with large groups of people. I seemed to have thought that the cigarette smoke, alcohol, loud music and abnoxious people would carry my troubles away. I was wrong. So here I am, in front of my computer, drinking a cup of sugar-water (a.k.a “tea”), and blogging about all this. Therapy? Not quite. But then again, what is?

back on track again…or am I?


bah. I have nothing substancial to post about.


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