liron.de/blog

maria had her IDF discharge party, I passed my driving test, I’m generally in a good mood and it’s been showing all thoughout the weekend. I can’t stop smiling and it seems to be infectious, so much the better. last night at the Lilenblum 25 there was a general good vibe going about (I swear it wasn’t alcohol induced), everyone was very positive and I even had one of my favorite songs played (APB’s “soultaker”). I’m supposed to hop on over to the licensing department office tomorrow to get my license. I’m going to have to be driving with someone over 25 for two months, fortunately that isn’t a problem, I have Eyal, Amnon, Amit and Yoav to play babysitter for me (which, in effect, means to sit in the passenger’s seat and cover their eyes). Hmph, even though it’s a day late for me, now is still a good time for my friday five.
When was the last time you…
1. …sent a handwritten letter? this is easy. two weeks ago. seriously. I didn’t exactly send it by post, but I did put it in an envelope and place it into someone’s mailbox. don’t make faces. this counts.
2. …baked something from scratch or made something by hand? I can’t bake or cook, but I can hand-sew, so I guess the last thing I made was a striped head-tie. or a lace handbag. crap.
3. …camped in a tent? summer of 96′, I think.
4. …volunteered your time to church, school, or community? In highschool I volunteered at a local preschool.
5. …helped a stranger? I really don’t remember the last time I gave charity or something of the sort, I helped a retarded neighbor across the street minor things like that, nothing serious.

WOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!! (entering non-understandable hebrew nonsense mode) test rishon, ya zonot! mi hagever? mi? mi???

right. so here’s the shimmy on what’s been up with me during the past week. I fell in love, got my heart broken and fell in love again, lost a good friend, but we’re slowly going to be patching things up and back together again. This past week I’ve rotated between being the victim and being the bitch, rotating between feelings of deep sadness and devine euphoria. and where am I now? somewhere in between, things have settled just about enough to allow myself to sit in one place long enough without swinging through a spectrum of moods. I even went on live cam yesterday evening. whaddya know. so, what else has been new? I haven’t dyed my hair in over two months. It’s going blond *yikes*. hopefully I’ll get the time and dye it soon enough, I’m thinking on straightening it for a few months as well. I’ve finished the piercing stretching for my right ear, I’ts a proud 4mm (not too big, but hell, I’m petite) and it’s all healed. I’m starting on the left ear, which will be significantly smaller stretched, and I’m mentally prepering myself for my discharge from the IDF in a month and a half, when I’m going to be piercing my lip and whatever else I feel like at that given moment, simply because I can. speaking of which, I also found another blog in english by an Israeli who absolutely loves this stuff as much as I do, which is the girl at achromatic. in any event, I’m off to get some work done (at the office again), y’all have a safe week and cut down on the booze.

The following post has been published.

you get this sinking feeling in your chest, it lasts for a millisecond which seems like forever, and then, suddenly, without warning, your heart starts beating faster. faster yet, and then some. your face gets all hot and flushed, you find it hard to breathe, and then your eyes swell up in tears.
“What do you mean there was a suicide bombing by my house?!?!?!?” I ask the person on the other side of the phone line. after hanging up I start pacing. back and forth and back again.
“Take me home”, I tell my friend, “wait, no. I need to call my mother.”
after I finally get myself to sit in one place, and light a cigarette, my mom picks up.
“your little brother is missing.” she says, “your father is out looking for him”. and then the cellular phone lines go down.
Yoav takes me up to his house. the second he opens the front door I rush to the TV. 15 wounded. I see my street on the little map they sketch out on the screen. Yoav looks at me. I look at him.
“Are you alright?” he asks “I’m going to go make you a cup of coffee”.
My mother is still not answering her phone. I can’t take my eyes off the screen. I call my dad, no answer. I call my mom again, no answer. a million scenarios rushing though my head at once, making me sick to my stomach. a million “what if”s making me want to take the coffee table and throw it against the wall.
It’s 21:00, an hour after the suicide bombing. I’m sitting with Yoav on a bench under his house, making phone calls. the phone lines are back up, but my brother isn’t home yet. My 11 year-old little brother had gone skateboarding with friends, and for some reason he hadn’t come home. I’m worried. I have tears in my eyes and I won’t let them fall, I love the little bugger and won’t let any damned suicide bomber, murderer, take him away from me.
I call my father.
still no sign.
call my mother once again.
I hear high pitched voices in the background.
“mom, is that him?” I ask. “It is, It is. he’s alright.”
That was all last night. this morning I woke up and found out that some family had lost their little girl. She was standing by the opening to the restaurant and was hurt badly. She died on the operating table last night, at the age of 14.5.
I haven’t been to town since last night, which is just a block away from me. The whole situation is too surreal for me, I’m afraid to see it with my own eyes. My friends, my family and I are all safe and well. we all woke up this morning and got on with our lives. This routine has become a disease, an illness. It’s not right. There’s nothing normal and everyday to let these things come to pass the morning after. It doesn’t make sense to me that we can regard a suicide bombing with 20 injured as a “minor” suicide bombing, just as long as no one was killed, or have a bombing like this one, drop from the news just 24 hours after.
but what can I do? I’m just a 20 year-old with an olive green uniform and commanders, I’m just a little girl who feels her nation needs somebody to hold it’s hand. I’m just a single person, being scared into feeling lucky to be alive.

space.com have issued a special report regarding the 2002 solar eclipse, taking place tomorrow. check it out.

whooooooo boy is it HOT in Tel Aviv! last night was a standard night at the lilenblum 25, at least up until the air conditioners broke down. hundreds of drunk, sweaty twentysomethings, rivet-dancing (or whatever it’s called) to Blutengel in a heat that wouldn’t embarrass Satan himself on a rough day in hell. Today is 99f, and tomorrow is going to be even worse (on Monday It’ll be 117f in Eilat). If you’re stuck at home under the ceiling fan, like me, why don’t you take a few moments and post to this thread (it’s not like you’re planning on leaving the house anyway, so you might as well do something). and, if anyone’s interested in adding their site, I now have a FFAL site directory, which you should be visiting as well.

but can someone, anyone, take a look at this and answer, one, plain, simple question – WHY?!? horifying will be the day, when death becomes routine, not just reality.

just some www updates – debase.org has a fab (!!) new layout, guimp.com claims to be the smallest site in the world (thanks for the link, mom!), and here is a portal of Israeli webcams. I’ve been doing top-of-the-month site updates, changed the hover link style (fading javascript links. pretty), updated the calender and the “now spinning” and w00t!, I’m #1 ranked at aquilus.net topsites! (click here to keep me there <3 10x). So….what’s up with me this month, you ask (or not)? well, this month is going to be a pretty hectic one, I’m going to be giving Itay and Telecart HTML lessons, and I’m also going to be starting on a ear piercing stretching routine – I’m going to be stretching out the hole in my right ear, in the past few days I’ve managed to stretch it 3x (update: 5x…owww!) as big and it hurts (if anyone has done this D.I.Y before and has any tips, I’d love to get some). Other than that, It’s beginning to become obvious that summer is here. Ron is on his way to Eilat (Israel’s southernmost getaway) as we speak, the winds are getting warmer at night and I’ve cut down on my smoking (It’s a summer thing). off now to finish some more and get my ass home. yom tov.