The plight to bring Gilad home greeted me everywhere on my many trips to Israel during the past five years. His face was everywhere – on street signs, posters, stickers and billboards. His parents and activists, many who have never met Gilad, erected a protest camp in front of the Prime Minister’s quarters in Jerusalem. The family’s march across the country was accompanied by thousands. The collective pain by Gilad’s capture was immense and yet, extremely difficult to explain to those who are not familiar with what growing up as an Israeli is ultimately like.

Understanding why Israelis chose to swap a dangerous bunch of convicted killers is a difficult one. So much, to the extent where the foreign media is having a hard time at trying to explain it to their readers. As an Israeli, understanding the necessity of this deal makes almost intuitive sense, even with cognitive dissonance looming in the background.

I explained to someone yesterday over Twitter that Gilad’s return was celebrated in Israel not because he was a “national hero”, but because he was somebody’s son. Israel has national conscription, which means that service in the army is mandatory. Every Israeli goes into the army at the age of 18 and many young soldiers find themselves in situations they didn’t expect and/or didn’t want to be in. I served through the Al-Aqsa Intifada and have lost friends and colleagues to palestinian terrorists. One was shot at point-blank by a palestinian gunman. Another rode over an explosive. One of my brothers served off the coast of Beirut during the 2006 Lebanon war when the INS Hanit was fired upon. He lost some friends that day and it very easily could have been him, on the INS Lahav. A few years later, soldiers from the INS Lahav were wounded when attacked by activists during the Gaza flotilla raid.

It’s an uncomfortable reality, but it’s part of growing up in Israel. Many of us go through our service without seeing combat. Some of us go through it without being confronted with death. Some of us get wounded. Some of us get captured. Some never come home again. Israel’s policy of not leaving it’s soldiers behind comes from the understanding that a soldier is, first and foremost, a young Israeli with friends, family, hopes and dreams for the future. When Israeli soldiers lose their lives in battle or attacks, they are remembered not as military personell or numbers on a sheet of paper, but as sons and daughters.

This is a point which I find terribly difficult to bring across to my non-Israeli friends. In most western countries, military service is not mandatory and those which do have conscription service are not normally under a state of peril. The mentality of “doing your part to protect your neighbor” doesn’t exist (it’s more “doing your part to fight someone else’s war”). On first glance, the release of over 1000 palestinian inmates to secure the return of Gilad Shalit seems irrationally disproportional, but Israelis believed they were fulfilling a moral obligation to bring back one of their own and give him a chance at a future.

This is a strength of Israeli society, and also it’s weakness. There’s no guarantee that the released palestinian militants will not return to terrorism, Hamas played Gilad Shalit as a carefully placed card and took advantage of Israel’s desire to have him returned home at almost any cost. Hamas is widely celebrating the release of the militants, claiming to have demonstrated their superior ability to manipulate Israel. In the meantime, Israelis seem to have developed more of a “fuck you, we’re just happy to see the kid home” attitude, despite the understanding that the entire ordeal may not work out in their favor in the long run.

Personally, I’m relieved to see Gilad home and am excited for his friends and family. I’m happy that Israel is upholding it’s obligation to it’s citizens and am humbled by the great lengths to which the country has agreed to go to in order to bring back one if it’s own. On the other side, I am horrified – not necessarily of the possible direct involvement of the released palestinian militants in future acts of terrorism (although that’s certainly a concern) but the boost that the prisoner release has given Hamas and what this may do to the balance of power in the region in the long-term.

At the end of the day, Gilad is a shy, quiet young man who has probably been through a lot more than any of us should ever have to. And everyone’s just really damn happy to see him home.

Unfortunately, Wired has decided to alienate their female (and many male) readers by bundling their first issue in Germany with GQ Magazine (“Gentlemen’s Quarterly”). There are plenty of women who enjoy reading men’s magazines (and the other way around), but the decision to bundle Wired with a magazine geared specifically towards the male demographic sends a very clear message to women: “You are not our target market, and are not a part of the discussion.”

This is an unfortunate decision, and rather insulting. I understand that Wired DE is being test run and I can understand why Condé Nast would perhaps prefer to bundle the first, slimmer issue with one of their existing publications. Unfortunately, Condé Nast only produce fashion and lifestyle magazines in Germany (Vogue, Glamour, Architectural Digest, GQ), so someone on their marketing staff decided that bundling Wired with GQ would hit the target market more accurately in relation to any of the other Condé Nast publications. This is a bottom-line business decision and makes financial sense in a Condé Nast “ecosystem” (read: market segment).

In the real world, where hundreds of titles grace the shelves, the female Wired reader (and many a male reader) is going to ask herself why she has to purchase a men’s fashion magazine in order to get her Wired fix, in her own language. This sends a strong message about the market Wired is now catering to in Germany, and equally, that which it is not catering to – the rest of us.

A progressive, influential magazine such as Wired (well, maybe not as influential as it was 5 years ago) which is (mostly) serious about representing the broad spectrum of people in technology needs to cut the bullshit and play it’s own part. I don’t know what happened behind closed doors at Condé Nast and I wish to think that the new staff of Wired DE fought the decision to bundle the first issue with GQ fiercely, in order to uphold the image and standard Wired has built for itself throughout the last 18 years. If they did, they lost.

I will not be buying the first issue of the German Wired today. Nor will I buy it in the future, if it continues to be bundled with GQ magazine. I will also not support the digital edition of the magazine until the print edition is released as a stand-alone. I am not even remotely alone.

I normally prefer not to categorize my opinions in a way which would be gender-specific, so was happy to join a pan-gender event. I’m a strong proponent for women’s rights, of course, but I choose to support campaigns which are very firmly across the board. I’m a “gender equality-ist”, if you’d like. I oppose gender, race or sexuality-based oppression and discrimination of any sort.

Under this premise, I joined Slutwalk. Very quickly into the march, I realized gender equality wasn’t the issue – feminism was. Mention of violence, discrimination and oppression against other minorities took a back-seat to signs and slogans set to promote feminist- and female-centric agendas. “But wait!” you say. “Women are the most common victim of sexual violence and oppression. Surely there is a place to campaign for them and promote awareness”. Of course, I agree entirely. But this event, as it promoted itself on it’s own website, was set to campaign against “sexism and sexual violence”. This includes everyone. As I look at my male friends in the crowd, who can’t wear a dress in public for fear of being lynched, as I look at the mirror and don’t see a woman or a man – and I’m afraid to define myself publicity as anything but either. As I think of my friends who were born into the wrong body – the violence and discrimination they face is real. And yet – Slutwalk Hamburg chose to concentrate on female-centric themes. Despite my mixed feelings towards female-centric events (sometimes they can be rather discriminatory, often they greaten the rift between genders, but it depends on the context), Slutwalk promoted itself as an event against sexism towards any gender. Make no mistake – if you invite me to your event campaigning women’s rights, I’ll be happy to join. But don’t invite me to an anti-sexism event and conveniently forget that sexism goes in more than one direction. That, my dear friend, is in itself sexist.

Upset as I was over this issue, what eventually pushed me to leave the parade halfway-through was the hijacking of the event towards anarchist agendas. Chants such as “no god, no state” and others towards the legitimization of house-squatting had nothing to do with the event, but were the most consistent and loudest of all. At first, I thought it was a small group of anarcho-punks which had hijacked the event for their own agenda, but as I advanced towards the front of the procession, I realized that those shouting anarchist slogans was also a large group right at the front – holding the Slutwalk banners, thus identifying themselves and the parade to onlookers as bearing an anarchist political agenda.

As a demonstration goer, I felt violated. I came to oppose sexism and this group had hijacked the event towards their agenda (without protest from the rest of the participants), thus speaking for me and the entire procession. This is non-permissible. As a first-time Slut-walker, I felt betrayed. So I left.

Instead of a gender-equality event demonstrating against sexism and sexual violence, Slutwalk Hamburg was a feminist-centric event with an anarchist political agenda that largely ignored it’s own printed claim. If I would have known this in advance, not only would I not have signed up, but I would have made sure to sew the seeds to organize an alternative event. Maybe now is the time to start thinking about the logistics.

Throughout the past few years I’ve been trying to make an effort to conquer this assumption of failure and understand where it comes from. My success has been partial – my German has improved by making an effort to speak, but I still can’t get on a bike without having a terrible anxiety attack. I avoid crowds because I fear I’ll get pushed aside and lost. I have trouble making friends and developing relationships, because I’m constantly worried that I’ll be abandoned. I’m terrified of traveling alone – I don’t trust myself to arrange a trip. I am horrified of driving – I don’t trust my own body to react correctly in a danger situation. You get the picture.

When I was in middle school, I was labeled by my teachers and counselors as an “underachiever” (“a person and especially a student who fails to achieve his or her potential or does not do as well as expected.” -Wikipedia). My interpretation at the time was that I had the potential, but not the inherent ability to succeed. Throughout my high school years, this turned into the aforementioned “assumed failure”. I wasn’t afraid of failing per-se, I had decided that as an underachiever, I was going to fail, so I saw no point in making an effort. Support from counselors and family didn’t help – telling me I had potential only made me realize how much harder I was failing at trying to reach it.

So I gave up. I dropped out of several mandatory classes and picked up so many absent study-hours that I was moved to a lower-level class. I had no intention to complete my high-school finals (although I told everyone I did) and developed a serious slacker attitude. Don’t get me wrong – I was a pretty good kid. I never had behavioral problems in school and developed such a good relationship with the teachers and staff of the art, design and photography classes that I would stay after-hours or entire breaks with them in the art supply office. I was mostly well-liked by my peers and never got into (too much) trouble. When it came to absolutely everything else, I just couldn’t be arsed. I graduated with extremely high marks in art and extremely low everything-else.

Years went by and I grew up. I threw my skills into a design career and became rather successful in my endeavors. I never went to the university – as a skilled autodidact, I learned by doing. Often, it felt natural, fun and almost effortless. And still, the assumption of failure prevented me from recognizing my successes for what they were, even after I had done amazing things. I’d fail to put trust in myself and my abilities, even though I had mountains of evidence to prove I should. It’s not that I didn’t want to see my successes, but within this context, the black hole of “I can’t” sucks up everything around it.

So what now? I talk about it. Do I blame this entire situation on my childhood experiences? I’d probably like to, but I can’t. The assumption of failure is a self-perpetuating condition. How do I make this change? By believing in myself that I can. Writing about it seems to help – I have time to pause, gather my thoughts and analyze things in a way which makes sense to others, and in turn, to me.

Thanks for reading.

And yet – I always seem to get upset and take it far more personally than I should, when people ask me stupid questions about Israel. I often wonder if it feels similar to the way someone from Rome would, if asked if he/she voted for the current Emperor.

The reason for this uneasy feeling is that I have a love/hate relationship with Israel which runs rather deep. Truth be told – I don’t feel particularly bonded to the country. It is not my “home” and I reject the concept that a piece of land is the “natural” place for any ethnic group (or for me). That said, growing up there, speaking the language natively, serving in the IDF and knowing every back street in Herzliya have contributed to a nostalgic fondness I have towards the country, which makes it hurt so much more when observing it from the outside.

Israelis don’t realize how their country is perceived from the other side of it’s borders. They have a slight understanding of how the Arab world sees them, but the “cult of Israel” is so strong, that Israelis don’t realize the effect the occupation of the Palestinian territories really has on both the Palestinians and the case for Israel abroad. Israelis are shielded from both the realities of life in the occupied territories and public perception of Israel’s actions.

Israel is technically a western-style democracy and it’s citizens would like to think their society is Europe-forward, but it is also somewhat of a theocracy – and as such, people marry younger and have no civil option for marriage. Israelis have more children than in secular countries, vote for nationalist politicians and have a painfully low minimum wage (4.5eu an hour for adults, brutto). The religious diet (Kosher) is kept by many and enforced in public institutions. There is no organized public transportation on the weekend. There are some beaches which separate men and women, religious people receive government benefits when studying religion as opposed to working and are not required to serve in the military like the rest of the population. I can argue these as civil injustices, but the truth of the matter is that Israelis have consistently voted for the governments which make this legislation. It’s painful to admit, but it really is the will of the people.

And yet, when you walk down the streets of Tel Aviv, you see none of this. The sun shines, signs of religious orthodoxy are almost nowhere to be found, same-sex couples walk hand-in-hand down the street, night and day blur. Tel Aviv, the White City, seems secular, liberal and glorious. Like a technicolor gradient fading to black, the further away you venture from the center of the country, the more obvious conservatism becomes. Think I can walk down the street holding hands with another woman in Netanya? Where are those non-kosher supermarkets in Ra’anana? Stickers on Jerusalem bus stations ask me to dress modestly. The orthodox population in Israel is relatively small, but the will to upkeep a status quo is large and blankets the majority of the population.

Unfortunately, being so isolated from the international community and a growing wave of nationalism inside the country has prevented Israelis from realizing how small their country is, how insignificant their politics are in the grander scheme of things and thus, are having a hard time getting over themselves. Who knows, Maybe this is what this blog post is really about – me, getting over it.

I also get asked more often than not if I have plans to return to Israel. The answer is no. I initially moved to Germany will the full intention that it’d be a temporary arrangement, but life comes at you faster than you can make plans, which is why I learned to not make any. The web world is severely underdeveloped in Israel (See “What’s Unique about Israeli Web Design” in this article), as an ambitious designer I could choose to return to Israel and make a positive impact on the field, but paying taxes to support a theocratic state seems like a pretty big price to pay. Israelis like to talk about the “Brain Drain“, but I have run into my fair share of Israelis here in Europe, who prefer not to return due to the country’s turn towards nationalism and religious fundamentalism.

So where does that leave me? Do I preach to the choir here in Europe or do I return to Israel and join the opposition? It all boils down to how much I’m willing to sacrifice fighting this uphill battle in pursuit of the cause. Do I feel uncomfortable saying that I don’t have enough of a personal stake in it to fight the battle from the battleground? Maybe. But that’s the member of the Cult of Israel in me, forcing the discomfort. Making me afraid to say that I just don’t care enough about this particular battleground in the scheme of the global fight against religious fundamentalism and nationalism.

I recommend you visit Israel. It is a beautiful country, full of nature, wildlife, history, wonder and warmth. The Tel Aviv nightlife is fantastic and Israelis are a cheery, helpful bunch. You’ll love the museums, the falafel, the sound of Matkot on the beach as you close your eyes and let the sun warm your face. Maybe I’ll see you around on my next visit.

To-do list app Wunderlist is an example for a pretty application which ignores user experience. I’ve been playing around with it in the past few days on the Mac and have grown to like it’s simple, to-the-point functionality. Unfortunately, key parts of the UI are so terribly convoluted – Wunderlist is far from being as intuitive as it should be. I’ve compiled a list of the UI quirks which makes Wunderlist so awkward on the Mac OS desktop. aspiring app designers, take note: ignore user experience at your own peril.

I’ll list these from 7 (least annoying) to 1 (omg-what-are-they-smoking):

7) Wunderlist’s title bar does not cap the application content

Besides giving an overall “unfinished” impression, this makes it less clear where the title ends and the app begins, thus it is less clear which parts of the header area are draggable around the desktop.

6) No way to turn off custom backgrounds.

This sounds like a minor quibble, but if you’re multitasking on the desktop, Wunderlist will stick out like a sore thumb. You can choose a less-distracting background, but it doesn’t use standard OSX UI colors.

5) “Share” icon on list items changes it’s location on every item.

Since this icon appears at the trailing end of a menu item entry, it’s location will vary from entry to entry. This makes an accidental click far more likely – it should appear along with the rest of the action icons.

4) List pane appears at right of content by default.

On Mac OSX (and if I’m not mistaken, on the iPad and even on Windows), list panes always appear to the left of the content. This is more intuitive for readers of LTR languages. Thankfully, this can be switched in settings.

3) Dock icon is bright red

The standard color for app-specific dock icon notifications is red. Using an application icon which is predominantly red tricks the corner of the user’s eye into thinking that a notification needs his/her attention.

2) Use of menus is entirely non-standard on the Mac

Wunderlist uses custom apple menu entries to point to drop-downs such as “account”, “settings”, “downloads”(!) and “about us”(!!!). This organization is unintuitive to Mac OSX users and could seriously benefit from an overhaul which aligns the menus to Apple’s OSX Human Interface Guidelines.

1) No standard preferences window

The first place a Mac OSX user is going to look for his/her settings is in the preferences window, located in the apple menu under app name -> preferences. Wunderlist doesn’t have this, instead the settings are located item-by-item under the “settings” drop-down menu (see point #2). This can be really frustrating for a first-time user and a nuisance for a seasoned user, who will continually irritated that he/she needs to keep in mind that Wunderlist functions differently than all the other apps he/she uses on a regular basis.

Please don’t get me wrong – I think Wunderlist has fantastic potential, but it saddens me when software houses put lots into visual design and little into understanding how the UI works on their target platform. 6Wunderkinder are providing a fantastic free service and I’m confident that the moment they decide to put effort into sorting out the interaction flaws in Wunderlist, it will become a real bombshell.

Zenith was an experiment of mine in open source interface graphics, created in late 2005 and originally released under the GPL. The project was created entirely and exclusively with open source graphic tools (Inkscape and Gimp).

Download the Zenith icon set here (Preview it)

Yeasayer “ONE” By: Radical Friend from ODDBLOOD on Vimeo.

Tommy Sparks “She’s Got Me Dancing” from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Major Lazer “Keep it Going Louder” from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

Basement Jaxx ft Lightspeed Champion – My Turn (video) from tomek ducki on Vimeo.

Some of you who know me (or follow my Twitter feed) know that I’m a big fan of video, computer and board games. My biggest love is the Nintendo DS, but I find myself playing any platform which falls into my hands, which includes my mobile phone, my computer and iPod.

I also like talking about games, and since I don’t get asked as often as I probably should, I figured to compile a short list of my top 5 all-time favorite computer and video games.

5. Peggle

Peggle from Popcap is probably one of the most fun and creative casual games I’ve ever played. What makes this pachinko/pinball oddity so much fun is the combination of light-hearted, random silly humor and a heavy dose of color and sound. This is not an easy combination to pull off with any game for audiences over the age of 8, so Popcap seem to have done a great job and bringing these together to form a great casual game.

4. Animal Crossing: Wild World

If you’d ask me which of the games on today’s market I find most creative, I’d probably answer with Nintendo’s Animal Crossing: Wild World. Set in a small town, Animal Crossing is full of inhabitants, sights and sounds. There’s plenty to do and a lot to see – with the game running through hours of the day, days of the week and seasons of the year in real time. I’ve been playing this game for over a year and have yet to become bored, especially with really enjoyable wi-fi play.

3. Total Distortion

If you haven’t heard of Pop Rocket’s Total Distortion, I don’t blame you – this game was little known and largely absent from the game shelves of the mid 1990s. I was 13 at the time, and this game was HUGE for me. Graphics which completely blew my mind (Myst? pfft.) and since I was just discovering my fascination with everything electric guitar, Total Distortion was a great pastime for misbehaving punk-rock pre-teenagers.

In the game, you’re a music video producer sent to shoot footage and direct videos in an alternate dimension (I swear, it made more sense back then). You need to battle your way through the depths of the “Distortion Dimension” to get the best and most rare footage in order to make enough money to send you back home. This was a great game for after school, until I figured out that I could cheat by running two saved games and passing video footage between them, thus minimizing the chances of me losing. It was fun while it lasted.

2. Mario Kart DS

Mario Kart is the iconic Nintendo racer, and there are almost as many iterations of Mario Kart for various Nintendo platforms then there are of Need for Speed, but Mario Kart DS was the first iteration that let people race each other over the internet. This is one of my favorites because of how much fun it always is, is easy to pick up and play and is one of those games which you can really make an evening out of. I love this game for how social it is, and how much fun it is to play together.

1. Day of the Tentacle (Maniac Mansion II)

The one, the only – Day of the Tentacle. This is my favorite, all-time game, and it is as much fun to play today as it was when it came out in 1993. They don’t make games like this anymore; the creativity that went into the puzzles, the plot, the graphics and the story all made up an absolutely superb title from LucasArts and a game which blew away almost everything else at that time in terms of gameplay and engagement – not to mention imprinting itself in the hearts and minds of gamers everywhere.

What’s your top 5?